A Tribute to Ben: 25 Years With My Favorite Problem-Solver
Ben and I just celebrated our 25th anniversary together (21 years married), and it’s had me reflecting on what an incredible life partner he is. I’m pretty sure his love language is fixing things. Not only does he shoulder a huge amount of the mechanical work on the farm, but he’s always there - for me, our kids, our friends, and sometimes strangers - whenever something technical needs to be figured out.
Ben has a depth of knowledge and skill that still amazes me after all these years. He is, without a doubt, a Renaissance Man. Computers, vehicles, mechanics, electrical work, math, just-right glue selection, designing new tools, engineering solutions on the fly… he can do it all. Because of a sleep disorder, he spends a lot of late-night hours going down what we call his “internet adventures,” learning about an astonishing range of topics. When I can’t sleep, I’ll ask him to “nerd me to sleep,” and he’ll instantly start talking about something wonderfully detailed - math, physics, or outer space usually do the trick. His soft voice and encyclopedic brain never fail to lull me into dreamland.
One thing that stands out the most about Ben is how he enables the rest of us to reach our goals. Whether it’s a farm project, a kid’s big idea, or one of my far-fetched plans, Ben makes things possible. He’s the behind-the-scenes orchestrator of logistics - the person who figures out how to move something heavy, power something tricky, repair something essential, or make a complicated setup actually work. He has this practical way of turning “Wouldn’t it be nice if…” into “Okay, let’s make this happen.” So many dreams we’ve chased as a family happened because Ben was willing to do the unglamorous, technical, logistical work that holds everything together.
A handful of moments come to mind when I think back on the technical rescues Ben’s made over the past 25 years.
Way back in college at K-State, my poor Dodge Intrepid broke down on campus. When I turned the key, something under the hood started thumping like a gorilla trying to escape. Ben came out in the middle of the night to diagnose it. After a good amount of wrestling with that tightly packed engine bay, I looked over to see him triumphantly waving the serpentine belt over his head and letting out a roar worthy of a Star Wars Wookie. It wasn’t the first thing he ever fixed for me, but it’s definitely one of the most memorable - and it inspired a tradition: whenever we conquer a particularly frustrating mechanical challenge, we celebrate with a Wookie roar.
When our boys were toddlers, Ben would come home after a long day at work to chaos and tears because some beloved toy had broken. He’d become the hero of the night by fixing it. One of his surprisingly invaluable superpowers is his gluing expertise. It sounds simple, but it’s absolutely not. He knows exactly which adhesive works with which materials, and he has the precision and patience to repair the tiniest pieces. (I have tested this skill myself and can confirm: it’s magic.)
Over the years, Ben has fixed appliances (many of which are basically computers now), designed tools to solve everyday problems, upgraded our home, kept the farm running smoothly, and generally made our lives better through a mix of ingenuity, precision, and care.
Here’s to Ben - the best partner I could wish for, the force behind so many of our accomplishments, and the heart of countless stories that make our family’s life what it is.
And here’s to the next 25 years - full of many more DIY projects, unexpected challenges, and the sweet, hard-earned victories that always seem to follow when Ben is involved. ❤️
